I Can Not Go On Without Loving You!
by mactaylor24
Summary: Chapter 4 is up nor R&R. Im working on chapter 5 now when mac proposes to stella.
1. Chapter 1

_I CANNOT GO ON WITHOUT LOVING YOU!_

**DISCLAIMER—CSI: NY and all related characters are the sole property of CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Jerry Bruckheimer, etc. Nothing mentioned below is mine.**

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Summary: Mac and Stella go to investigate a triple homicide; it appears at first glance that the killer had left the scene. But both Mac and Stella are mistaken, when a bullet rips through Stella's abdomen. Are they able to save her? What happens to Mac and Stella's relationship? Does this incident bring them closer together? Read to find out.

"Good Morning." Mac said to the team when he went to look at cases he just received.

"Morning Mac." Everyone said.

"So what kind of cases do we have to work on today?" Hawkes asked.

"Hmmm... We have 2 cases." Mac Said.

"Stella and I are going to take the triple homicide in East Manhattan."Mac said with a strange look.

"Danny, Flack, Lindsay, and Hawkes are going to take Homicide at the Bank of New York which is located in Central Park. Someone robbed the bank and killed the teller." Mac said.

"Mac are you going to be alright?" Flack asked.

"Yeah why you ask?" Mac said with a nervous look.

"Because on the second crime scene there are four people and on the one you and Stella are working on there are only two people?" Flack asked.

"If you want to come and help us out that would be fine." Mac said.

"That makes me feel better because I didn't want you two to be alone and if you got hurt no one would be there to help." Flack assured Mac.

"Thanks Don" Mac said.

Mac had drove Flack and Stella to the Crime Scene and Hawkes had driven Danny and Lindsay to the other Crime Scene.

"Wow, look at what we got here!" Stella exclaimed.

Mac, Flack and Stella had to double up on gloves and booties on their feet so they can collect every possible piece of evidence. There were three DB's at the scene. One was a female in her upper 50's, another was a male in his late 30's and the last one was a teen girl just at puberty around 13 years old. The teenager had a gunshot wound to her right temple. By the looks of it, it seems like it was done by a 40 caliber handgun. She was also shot in her lower leg with a 9 mm handgun. She was naked.

"Hey Mac, by the looks of it, there could be two shooters." Stella said.

"Yeah, also since she is naked it seems like she might be sexually assaulted. We will have to wait till we get back to the lab and let Sid examine her for us to know." Mac said.

The older woman was shot in her abdomen with a 40 caliber and in her chest with a 9mm. Her eyes had a frightening look so she saw her killer.

The man was killed by close range 9mm to the heart and a 40 caliber to his left temple.

"Mac we have a huge crime scene here!" Flack exclaimed.

"Yeah we do." Mac stated.

Stella began to put bags over the victim's hands and began collecting all the evidence she could. Across the way Flack and Mac were discussing what could have happened here.

Just then, "BOOM!" "BOOM!"

The shooters did not leave from the original crime and Stella dropped to the ground.

"STELLA!!" "STELLA!!" Mac screamed.

"STELLA!! "Flack screamed.

Right then both Mac and Flack had ran towards Stella to see what happened the shooters had ran and are nowhere to be found.

"Can you hear us?" Both Mac and Flack asked.

Flack had called in for an ambulance. Stella has not said a word she could be unconscious. Mac had checked for a pulse and she does have a pulse but she is not responding.

"Dear God, Please take your strength and heal my Stella please. I need her. In your name I pray amen. Mac prayed.

"Flack, she has a pulse but she is not responding." Mac said crying.

"She may be alright. The ambulance is on their way." Flack assured Mac.

"I just hope she is alright." Mac said

"Me too!" Flack stated.

"Mac Taylor, I love you!" Stella said faintly.

"I love you too Stella, please pull through." Mac stated.

Just then the ambulance had arrived and both Mac and Flack had hopped into the ambulance with her. Flack had called another team to finish processing the team because him, and Mac would not be able to because they are too emotionally involved .If they found the killer the case would be thrown out because the evidence would be compromised. They pulled a few people from morning shift.

They had just arrived at the hospital Mac and Flack just hopes that Stella has the strength to pull through.

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**A/N: Tell me what you think. **


	2. Chapter 2

Mac, Flack and Stella had finally arrived at New York State hospital. Once they had gotten there Mac had received the worst news of his life. All the doctors were busy and there would not be a doctor to operate on Stella until tomorrow afternoon. Mac started to cry but then he stopped because he realized something. Hawkes had graduated from medical school. Mac forgot that Hawkes went to med school and then stopped operating on people to catch the people who killed others instead of operating on others. _Hawkes can come to the hospital and operate on Stella and I trust him very much. _Mac thought to himself.

"How is Stella going to be operated on since there are no available doctors?" Flack asked concerned.

"Well Hawkes graduated from med school so I am going to call him and get him stop from what he is doing to come and operate on Stella so she is alive and well." Mac said with tears coming down his face.

Mac dials Hawkes cell phone number.

"Hey Hawkes, you got a moment?"

"Yeah what's up Mac?"

"Did you hear what happened to Stella?"

"Yeah, she was shot and you'll were heading to the hospital in the ambulance with her."

"Yeah, well I'm at the hospital right now and there no available doctors to operate on her until tomorrow afternoon. I feel if we wait that long she will not make it."

"I can come and operate on her, since I know what to do and I have a degree and still have my license for that."

"You could do that?"

"Yes Mac I will do ANYTHING for you. I know you and Stella have feelings for each other."

"I guess everyone can tell the way we act towards one another."

"What hospital are you at so that I can come over there and do my best to save Stella?"

"We are at New York state hospital."

"I will be there in ten minutes."

"Thanks, Hawkes I appreciate this very much."

Mac hangs up the phone with Hawkes. Stella gets moved to room 325 so when Hawkes arrives he has everything he may need there and it is one of the operation rooms.

Hawkes finally arrived at New York state hospital, the person at the desk had told him where Stella was.

Hawkes made it to room 325 and saw her.

"Mac I will do the best I can do to save her."

"I know."

"Any bullets or bullet fragments I will send over to Lindsay at the crime lab."

"Okay, alright. Hawkes I don't know how I can ever repay you."

"Don't worry about it; this is what friends do okay."

"Yeah."

"Mac, you know you can't stay in the operating room while I operate on her right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"I'm going to have to ask you to go in the waiting room when I am finished I will come and tell you the news myself and whatever it is I will help you get through."

"Thanks, I'll see you after the surgery."

Mac had left the room and joined flack. Mac began to pace back and forth he was so nervous he could not sit down. He had kept thinking of the worst and could not imagine himself living without Stella, his best friend who has been at his side for ten years. _He loved her and now he knows she loves him maybe this incident can bring him and Stella closer together_. Mac thought.

"Mac why don't you sit down and calm down for a bit, Stella is going to be alright especially with Hawkes as the doctor?" Flack said.

"Okay I guess I can, it is I am just nervous I keep thinking the worst."

"I understand I feel the same way."

Just then Sid, Lindsay, Adam, Danny and Chief Sinclair came into the waiting room to see Mac Taylor.

"Hey Mac" Everyone said at once.

"Did you hear anything yet?" Sinclair asked.

"No, I'm lucky with Hawkes as the doctor. When I hear of something I will let you know ASAP."

"Thanks." Lindsay responded.

"We are going to go back to the lab and finish up our case. Call us the moment you find something out." Danny said.

"I will." Mac said.

Everyone left, just then it was just Mac and Flack. Mac was so nervous so he picked up a newspaper and began to read to calm down his nerves.

"You want a coffee; I'm going to get myself one so I was wondering if you would like one also?"

"Sure, Black two sugars."

"Okay I'll be back."

Once Flack left to go get two coffee's Mac's phone started to ring, he looked at the caller id and it was Chief Sinclair. _Why would Sinclair be calling me?_ Mac thought.

"Taylor." Mac answered.

"Mac I have some great news for you." Sinclair said with joy.

"What kind of good news?" Mac wondered.

"Well morning shift had finished the case and gave me their report. DNA and fingerprints were left scene and through further investigation including the bullet and bullet fragment Hawkes had sent over, we caught the men responsible for the murder at the scene and with Stella we are pretending it is a murder. With that it makes murder count to 4 which make them eligible for the death penalty."

"WHO DID THIS?" Mac Screamed.

"Calm down Mac." Sinclair responded.

"I want to see this person!"

"Mac we are not involving you, so the case is not thrown out."

"I understand." Mac calmed down a bit.

"Lawrence Miller and Gavin Pierce were the men responsible for the crime. They have a criminal record longer than the statue of liberty. It appears this is not the first time they shot a gun."

"Wow, thank god they have been caught!"

"I agree."

"Well chief I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Mac."

Flack came back five minutes with their coffee and saw Mac with a grin from ear to ear.

"Mac why are you so happy?"

"They caught the bastards who did this!"

"That's amazing."

"Here is your coffee maybe sooner or later we will have a response that Stella is alright."

"Yeah hopefully." Mac said.

Mac and Flack had been there for three and a half hours and still no response.

Twenty more minutes go by and still no response.

_What is taking this long?_ Mac began to wonder.

Then ten minutes later Mac could see Hawkes walk towards them from the glass window.

Right then Mac was thinking for the worst.

Hawkes entered the room.

"Is the surgery finished?" Mac asked nervously.

"Yes!"

"Mac I don't know how to tell you this?" Hawkes said.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!" Mac screamed and began to cry.

"She is alright! I saved her it was touch and go for a little while but she made it. If she would not have been operated on within another ten minutes she would have died. I saved Stella Bonasara's life."

"Thank God! I love you Hawkes. Without you I would have lost Stella."

"You are very much welcome. No need to repay me or anything that is what friends do nice things for other friends.

"Okay, Can I go see her?"

"Sorry Mac, no one can see her till the morning but I will be here making sure she is alright."

"Okay that is alright. I think I need to go home and get some rest."

"Yeah why don't you do that, you look very tired."

Mac dialed the number to the New York City Crime Lab where Danny, Lindsay and Sid would all still be there finishing things up.

"New York City Crime Lab!" Sid answered.

"Sid can you have everyone who is in the lab near you and put me on speaker phone?"

"Sure no problem Mac!"

"Lindsay, Chief, and Danny come here I have Mac on the phone and he wants everyone to hear him!"

Right then everyone came running towards Sid. Sid had switched the phone to speaker.

"Mac everyone is here." Sid said.

"Thank you for your spirit and prayers because of you is why Stella had made it. She is not able to see anyone tonight but in the morning she can."

"This is great Mac, everyone said."

"Mac why don't you take 2 weeks off I will pay you for it. I know this had gotten to you and you will want to stay with Stella."

"Thanks Chief!"

"You're welcome Mac!"

"Goodnight Guys, see you when you visit Stella or next time when I come to work."

"Night Mac Everyone said."

Mac could not believe she had made it. Flack had driven Mac home. Once Mac had gotten home he had went into the bathroom. He began to take off his clothes. Once his clothes were off, he turned on the bathtub. The water began to steam. Mac needed a nice hot bath and then he would sleep for a few hours. The water filled to the level he likes it so Mac had gotten his shampoo, conditioner, soap, a towel, a clean pair of boxers and a tee shirt which he likes to sleep in. Then Mac stepped into the nice hot water.

Mac had fallen asleep in the bathtub and didn't realize it until he had woken up.

"It's freezing here" Mac thought.

Then he had opened his eyes and realized why he was cold. It was 8am usually the time he gets ready for work but he gets two week paid vacation so he does not have to go to work. Mac drained the bath tub and took a quick ten minute shower.

After the shower he got dressed wearing a nice pair of black slacks and a tee shirt showing his chest which Stella loves.

Mac left his house, got into his escalade and began to head to the hospital. Mac made it and went to Stella's room. Once he saw her he smiled so wide.

"Mac thanks for looking out for me."

"Anytime Stella."

"Do you remember what I said before the ambulance had arrived?"

"Yes you love me!"

"Mac I had loved you for a long time and never knew how to tell you it." Stella smiled.

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A/N What do you think?? I'm going to continue tell me what you think is going to happen? You can message me with any ideas you have I am open to ideas. Thanks for reading my FanFic! I am working on the next chapter now.


	3. Chapter 3

"Stella Bonasara, I would not be able to live without seeing your smiling face every day." Mac said.

"I know Mac; it would be the same for me with you." Stella replied.

A few moments later Mac had gotten out of his seat and walked towards Stella's hospital bed.

"I love you Stella Bonasara!"

"I love you too Mac Taylor!"

Right then Mac leaned towards Stella and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Stella returned a soft kiss on Mac's lips.

"Awww!" Lindsay smiled as her and Danny walked in to see Stella.

"Good Morning Stella!"

"Morning Lindsay, How are you?" Stella asked.

"Good, just came by to see how you were doing."

"That's good, thanks for stopping by."

"No problem, good thing Mac was there."

"Yeah, well I'll see you later."

"Hey Mac how are you?" Danny asked.

"I am very thankful Hawkes was able to save Stella's life." Mac cried.

"She is lucky you and Flack were there."

"Mac, take good care of Stella, she is a beautiful woman and now she needs you more than ever."

"Thanks Danny. After she is alright I think I am going to propose to her because I cannot live without her!" Mac said.

Before Danny and Lindsay had left they had given Mac and Stella a hug. Flack and Sid had came into Stella's room to see how she was doing.

"Hey Stella." Sid called.

"Hey Sid, how are you doing?" Stella asked.

"I am better now that I know you are doing a lot better. Good thing Hawkes was able to operate and Mac and Flack was there at the scene."

"Yeah, I could not even begin to imagine myself or Mac to live without each other."

"I know I see how you both look at each other. God has given Mac a second chance after Claire had died in the 9/11 terrorist attacks. To me and everyone else you are Mac's angel."

"Thanks Sid, I will see you when I am able to come back to work."

Sid then had given Stella a friendship kiss on her cheek. Flack walked to Stella.

"Stella, I am very glad everything had turned out alright. After the shooting I was praying every second that you would make it out alright and god had answered my prayers."

"Flack, I am glad you and Mac were there if not I would not have survived, thank you."

"No problem Stella, I have to go back to work so I will see you in two weeks when you come back."

Stella never realized how many people actually cared for her Danny, Lindsay, Sid and Flack came to see how she was doing. Adam and Chief Sinclair were unable to come so they had sent a get well soon card. Mac cared so much about Stella that he had stayed by her side throughout the whole ordeal. Hawkes had cared about Stella that he had performed the surgery so Stella would be alive and Hawkes had taken care of the bills so Stella was alright.

"Hey Stella, How are you doing?" Hakes asked.

"I could be better if I could get out of this hospital bed."

"I understand I will check you out to make sure everything is alright, if it is you can be out by early tomorrow morning." Hawkes smiled.

"Oh that's great Hawkes, thank you for being there for me throughout this ordeal." Stella said.

"Stella, I would do anything for you because you are my friend."

Hawkes had ran a few tests on Stella everything had turned out to be alright. Stella had turned out to be a very lucky woman.

"Mac!" Stella called. Mac fell asleep in the chair since he fell asleep in the bathtub the night before.

Since Mac was sleeping Stella did not want to wake him up so she had just decided to take a little nap. Stella had woke up around 3:30 in the morning and realized Mac was still asleep.

_Man _Stella thought. _How much sleep did he get the night before_ Stella asked herself?

Stella had realized that Mac was not waking up anytime soon so she had decided to wake Mac up. Stella got out of the hospital bed went over to Mac's seat and sat on his lap. Then she kissed his lips and slipped her tongue into his month while he was sleeping then she saw his eyes come open.

"Stella!" Mac grinned.

"Yes."

"You look like you are ready to go home." Mac asked.

"Well yes, I saw you sleeping around 6:30 and I could not wake you up. Then I took myself a nap and woke up at 3:30am, I saw you were still sleeping and I could not resist so I decided to wake you up my way."

"I see and I like you way." Mac giggled.

"Has Hawkes cleared you yet?"

"He said I would be able to leave early this morning." Stella said.

Just then Hawkes had entered the room and gave Stella her release forms.

"Mac, make sure you keep her safe!" Hawkes said.

"Don't worry I will." Mac said. Then Hawkes had left the room.

"Hey Babe, I am so glad you made it." Mac said.

"I know, me too! " Stella smiled.

Mac had let Stella get off of his lap, then he reached for her hand and they walked to Mac's car together. Once they had arrived at the car Mac had opened Stella's door then he went to his side and got in and began to drive.

"You are such a gentleman Mac." Stella said as Mac got into the car.

"My mother only taught the best." Mac grinned.

"I can see that." Stella teased.

"So Mac are you taking me home?"

"You can call it that."

"What do you mean?"

"I am taking you to my place because I can't stand being away from you."

"That's good."

Mac finally arrived at his house it took shorter time than he realized because Stella the love of his life was there talking to him. Mac parked his car in the driveway then he went to Stella's side opened her door and reached for her hand. Mac then took them inside and put their coats on the rack and they both sat on the couch.

"Mac these last few days have been the best days of my life."

"Why is that babe?" Mac asked.

"Because you were by my side and now I am with you and I love you babe."

"I love you too!" Mac said.

Stella had fallen asleep on Mac's chest and Mac did not want to wake her up so he went to bed too with her laying on him. Mac loved Stella and could not be happier. Stella made Mac happy and they were meant to be.


	4. Chapter 4

Stella awoke to Mac kissing her forehead.

"Mmmm..."She moaned. Stella liked the way Mac was kissing her.

"So babe, what are we going to do for the week and half of vacation we have?" Mac asked.

"How bout we stay in town but do romantic things. For example how bout we go see a movie tonight, tomorrow we go out to dinner, Friday we could go and have a picnic at the beach. For the rest of the time we can be with each other and enjoy being in each other's arms."

"That sounds lovely Stella, you do think of great ways to be together."

"Yeah I know."

"How bout I make you a special breakfast for you?"

"Sure I'd love to taste your cooking."

"Why don't you take a shower and then you can enjoy the Mac Taylor's special breakfast?"

"Alright." Stella smiled.

Stella removed Mac's shampoo and conditioner from the closet; she has body wash, a towel, Mac's shirt and a pair of shorts from the bedroom since she did not have any of her clothes at Mac's house. Stella had set the temperature to just the way she liked it, undressed and then got into the shower. Meanwhile Mac was in the kitchen taking ingredients out of the refrigerator so he could make a very special breakfast for Stella. Mac began to fry the bacon, and then he turned on another burner to cook the sausage, while that was cooking Mac added flour, eggs, water and milk into a bowl so he could make pancakes. The sausage and bacon was finished so Mac had put a few pieces on both his and Stella's plates. Next Mac began to cook the pancakes. After they were done he scrambled some eggs and put a slice of cheese on top when the eggs were finished. Just as Mac finished dividing the food and putting it on each other plates he saw Stella come out from the bathroom with her hair wrapped up in a towel.

"Stella, you look beautiful and smell amazing." Mac smiled.

"Thanks, you are very handsome gentleman yourself." Stella smiled.

"Mmmm... It smells good in here." Stella said.

Stella had sat down at her seat. Mac poured two glasses of milk, sat down and said grace. Afterwards Mac and Stella had began to eat.

"Mac, this is delicious and you are an amazing cook."

"Thanks, you're welcome babe."

"How about I clean up while you go and shower?"

"Sure that would be fine."

Mac had walked into the bedroom and grabbed a nice pair of slacks, a T-Shirt, and boxers. Everything else was in the bathroom from when Stella had had taken her shower. Stella was in the kitchen cleaning off the table and washing the dishes which she had liked doing. After Stella had finished the dishes she had went and sat in Mac's recliner to see what was on television today. Nothing good was on so Stella was relaxing in the recliner until Mac had came out from the shower.

"Mhmm... " Stella moaned as she received a great wet kiss from her boyfriend Mac Taylor.

"I love you Stella!"

"I love you too Mac!"

"So what movie do you want to see tonight babe?"

"Hmmm…How about we go see the Ugly Truth, there is a showing in Central Park around 7pm."

"That's great!"

"I have to go to the store to pick up something."

"How about I go for you and you can stay here and relax?"

"That sounds better."

"So Stella what do you need me to get?" Mac asked.

"I just need a pack of tampons because I know my period will be coming soon."

"That's fine; you don't need to be afraid to tell me you are getting your period. It's perfectly normal and I am fine with that."

"Thanks babe, get me the Playtex sport multi-pack it has 18 regular and 18 super."

"Got it sweetie. I'll see you soon." Mac kissed Stella before he left.

After Mac left Stella had called Danny.

"Hey Danny."

"Yeah Stella." Danny said.

"Are you busy this evening?" Stella asked.

"No, why?"

"I was wondering if while Mac and I are at the movies if you and Hawkes can move the things out of my apartment into Mac's place?"

"Sure, No problem."

"No Problem Stella, we don't need any money, we will do it for free." Danny said.

"Thanks Danny. Mac and I are leaving around 6 and we will probably be back around 10."

"Ok. Well see ya later." Danny said.

"Bye."

Soon after Stella hung up with Danny, Mac had returned with the tampons.

"Mac you can put them into the bathroom closet."

"Alright babe."

"How much do I owe you Mac?"

"Nothing Stella."

"Ok."

Stella was laying in Mac's bed in a silk nightgown. Mac loved the way she looked; she was so beautiful and hot. She was turning Mac on but he had ignored his feelings because he didn't want to do anything just yet. Instead Mac walked towards the bed and layed next to Stella and began Making out with Stella. Stella had fallen asleep and Mac didn't want to wake her so he had cuddled Stella in his arms and they had slept with each other. A few hours later Mac had woken up to someone knocking on the door.

"Who would be knocking on my door?" Mac thought.

Mac looked through the peep hole and saw it was Hawkes and Danny. They had a moving truck and they were taking some of Stella's things out.

Mac had opened the door let them inside and then went into the bedroom.

"Stella baby, Wake up!"

"What time is it Mac?"

"5:45 baby, you have to get up and get dressed so we can go to the movie. Did you know Danny and Hawkes were coming over to bring your things from your old apartment?"

"Yeah babe, sorry I forgot to tell you. I called them when you ran to the store for me earlier."

"That's alright."

Stella had woke up and put on a nice shirt that showed some of her cleavage which Mac liked, a nice pair of slacks and a pair of dress shoes. Afterwards she had washed her face and brushed her teeth. Mac was already dressed and they had left around 6:15. Mac drove to the movie theatre.

"Babe you want to get any snacks for when we are watching the movie?" Mac asked.

"Sure how about we get some pretzels to share, and a large drink to share as well."

"That sounds good. I'll go and buy and you can go pick out nice seats."

Mac had bought a large order of soft pretzels with cheese and a large coke.  
Then he had went to go and find Stella. He handed her some pretzels and sat the drink in the cup holder. A few moments later the movie had began. During the movie Stella had fallen asleep on Mac's shoulder. He kissed her tenderly and she moaned. She enjoys his kisses. Stella had woke up at the last ten minutes.

"Babe that was a good movie. The ending was good especially how mark and abbey had gotten together."

"Yeah, I know."

"Hawkes had called me and said they had finished and they locked the door." Mac said.

"That's great."

"I know you're tired babe so how bout when we go home you can put back what you were wearing earlier and we can go to sleep?'

"Yeah I sure am tired." Stella said.

Mac and Stella had held hands walking out to the movie theatre and Mac had driven them home. Once inside Stella put the clothes she had on in the basket and put on her nightgown. Mac did the same put his clothes in the basket and put on a pair of shorts. Stella and Mac made the bed together then got under the covers and cuddled together. Mac kissed Stella on her lips and she kissed Mac back. Then a short while later they had fallen asleep. Stella was laying her head on Mac's chest. She was sleeping peacefully and comfortably. They were in love with each other and no one or nothing could change the way they felt about each other.

*************************************************************************************************************R/R: Let me know what you think I am on chapter now. In this chapter Stella and Mac have been dating for a year, they are back at work and Mac takes her to a fancy restaurant and proposes to her.


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